Episode 181 - Caregiver Burnout, Family Dynamics, And Divorce

Today, Mardi Winder-Adams speaks with Deborah Greenhut, who brings both a personal and professional lens to the world of caregiving. Deborah, the author of The Hoarder's Wife and host of The Share Giving Secret podcast, shares her own story of going through divorce at 60 after decades of caring for a husband with hoarding disorder and several cognitive diagnoses. What makes Deborah’s experience especially relatable is the very human way she discusses the hidden and evident challenges that come with being a caregiver, especially when your partner’s issues aren’t always visible to others.

Together, Mardi and Deborah unpack how different it can feel to care for someone dealing with mental health or cognitive issues compared to those with clear-cut physical illnesses. Deborah points out that these "hidden caregiver" roles often carry a double burden: not only do you have to manage the complexities and lack of predictability at home, but you also deal with limited or virtually no understanding from friends, family, or even professionals who might not recognize the true extent of what goes on behind closed doors.

The conversation gets real about burnout and those moments when you feel completely alone, overwhelmed, and like no one else could possibly pick up the slack. Deborah talks honestly about the guilt and resentment that can creep in, and how easy it is to convince yourself that if you just try a little harder, everything might get better. She urges listeners not to wait until they’re completely depleted before seeking help, and shares her advice for figuring out which areas of life are being most affected.

This episode serves as a comforting reminder that nobody is meant to shoulder these responsibilities on their own. Deborah offers not just practical tips for managing stress but also a compassionate perspective for anyone struggling with the idea of stepping back or even leaving a relationship that has become unsustainable due to caregiving demands.

Mardi and Deborah’s talk is supportive and down-to-earth, making it a reassuring listen for anyone going through tough times as a caregiver, and a useful one for those looking for ways to lighten their load and care for themselves in the process.

About the Guest:

Deborah Greenhut’s long marriage to a mentally disordered man changed her role to family caregiver. In Deborah’s words, “Our conflict helped me uncover a missing piece in the puzzle of resilience”. In 2022, at age 70, she published a novel, “The Hoarder’s Wife,” based on her story.

Deborah wants to reach more struggling caregivers through public speaking. During her 50-year professional career, she has spoken on communication in academic, corporate, university, and non-profit settings. Following her divorce at age 60, she began to focus on caring to help preserve the resilience of caregivers have. Through her Substack publication she offers suggestions on negotiating with your family to prevent caregiver burnout and my podcast, “The Sharegiving Secret” amplifies those ideas with solutions.

To schedule a conversation with Deborah: https://deborahgreenhut.com/ - request a complimentary session.

To connect with Deborah:

Website: www.deborahgreenhut.com

Website: www.therationalcaregiver.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahgreenhut01/

Substack:https://nonnegotiablesforcaregivers.substack.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=substack_profile

Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahgreenhut?utm_source=user-menu

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DeborahGreenhut-q4k