Episode 243 - How to Communicate Effectively Before, During and After Divorce

Communication during and after divorce can be one of the most difficult challenges people face, especially when emotions are high and important decisions still need to be made. In this episode of The D Shift, Strategic Divorce Consultant Mardi Winder speaks with relationship and communication coach Dr. Arnie Buss about practical ways to communicate more effectively during conflict and major life transitions.

Arnie shares how his own relationship struggles after nearly twenty years of marriage led him to deeply explore the dynamics of communication, emotional connection, and conflict resolution. That journey ultimately inspired the co-development of the Sympatico Communication Method, influenced by his mentor Selwa Said, which focuses on creating understanding through compassionate listening.

A central concept discussed in the episode is “tracking,” a powerful listening technique that helps people feel heard and validated even during disagreement. Dr. Buss explains how this approach can transform conversations by focusing on understanding another person’s experience rather than trying to win an argument.

In this episode you will learn:

• Why communication often breaks down during divorce

• How validating listening can reduce conflict and defensiveness

• The concept of “tracking” and how it improves difficult conversations

• Why communication skills are essential for successful co-parenting

• Practical ways to shift conversations from conflict toward connection

Mardi and Arnie also discuss how these tools can be especially helpful for couples who must continue communicating after divorce due to shared responsibilities such as co-parenting. While divorce is a challenging transition, thoughtful communication can help reduce unnecessary conflict and create healthier interactions moving forward.

This conversation offers valuable insight for anyone navigating divorce, co-parenting, or high-stress relationship conversations.

About the Guest:

Dr. Arnie Buss, PhD is a relationship and communication coach who helps high-achieving women feel more alive, emotionally connected, and at ease in their relationships - and within themselves. After a long career as a professor and systems thinker, Arnie discovered that success and intelligence don’t protect us from emotional disconnection - they often mask it.

Twenty years into his own marriage, despite years of therapy and personal growth work, his relationship nearly ended. What changed everything wasn’t insight or effort, but learning how to create emotional safety in moments that usually lead to shutdown or conflict. Arnie is the co-creator of the Simpatico Communication Method, a powerful and effective approach that helps emotions settle and connection return naturally. He is the co-author of the book "Hear Here: Engaging With Our Aware, Loving Heart".

For Arnie’s gift: https://aware-heart.mykajabi.com/download-stop-arguing

To connect with Arnie:

LinkedIn: @arnie-buss-ph-d-43a506b

FB: @ Arnold_Herbert

IG: @arniebuss